The pigskin apocalypse once more draws near! Hide your women and children, for the warriors of the gridiron might decide to beat the Hell out of them, and that’s totally cool so long as they don’t dare kneel while the national anthem plays. Sigh.
Oh, NFL.
And with a new contract in hand, Roger Goodell is in charge for the foreseeable future, or at least until the Cowboys get the hammer dropped on them again and Jerry Jones snaps and kills him with a caviar spoon. And in that moment, Roger will provide glorious entertainment and value for probably the first time in his entire life. So we all have that to look forward to.
On the field, some divisions are insanely closely matched. Others look more like dropping a pro team or two in with a couple of JV squads and a football team comprised of lemurs in helmets. I will be providing my commentary on each team in my usual manner, scorn laced with liberal doses of mockery.
You will also notice the use of asterisks scattered throughout this entire thing. See, the league narrative is that Colin Kaepernick can’t find a spot based purely on his play on the field. I will be marking the existence of quarterbacks on rosters who kind of disprove that ridiculous claim. Advance peek : there are A LOT of them.
I never met Chris Cornell. Obviously, I mean, I’m some random schmuck in Leduc. I’m not exactly loaded down with celebrity connections. The closest I ever came to the guy was seeing him and Audioslave live many moons ago. And yet, I find myself affected by his passing in a way that isn’t typical. Usually, someone famous dies and there’s a bit of “That’s too bad.” and then I take another sip of coffee and turn the page. Okay, obviously I’m on the Internet and not actually reading a paper but I’m making an analogy here. But this time I linger a little bit. This time there was a bit of a punch to go along with the news.
There are a few reasons why Chris Cornell’s death is a bit more of a kick to the crotch than all the rest. The guy is hands down one of the greatest rock vocalists of all time. Check out live videos from the past year or two and marvel as he continues to hit those high notes the same way that he did in the 90’s. A Soundgarden song provided the musical backdrop when two of my best friends danced for the first time after getting hitched. And Soundgarden were one of the bands of my youth. Now Chris Cornell is dead, and I’m 40 years old and much more aware of my own mortality then I was back in the day. Shit, I’m closer to 52 then I am to the age that I was when I first started hearing Soundgarden. That’s part of the reason why this one hits a bit closer to home for me. One more long tendril connecting to my younger days withers and dies off.
I was a big fan of David Bowie, James Brown, Phife Dawg and B.B. King, to list just a few of the names on the morbid ledger of musicians who have recently left this world. I was even lucky enough to see most of them (A Tribe Called Quest being an exception from that list) live before they passed. Obviously. Would have been one weird fucking show if it was post-mortem. But their passings didn’t really impact me in the same way.
The thing is, I got in to all of them later on in my life. But Soundgarden got in to my brain while I was still figuring out what in the Hell I actually liked. They were one of the building blocks in terms of music. Shit, they might have been THE building block upon which the rest of the foundation of my own personal house of musical fandom was built. Let’s hop into ye ol’ Wayback Machine and visit a time of young, dumb Cliff and his lamentable hair choices of yesteryear.
See, young and dumb Cliff was a total hair metal fan. Oh sure, he got out of that box a little bit, but only in terms of just straight up metal metal. That’s how Metallica and Pantera and the like made their way straight into his earholes. But that was it. That was all there ever would be. Grunge? Fuck that shit. Nirvana was the band that basically fucked up what he had liked before. However would Skid Row adapt and recover in a world of Nirvana? Incidentally, I’m still not the biggest Nirvana fan. They’re…okay. But if you’re the ones who plant the flag, you get to run the show. That’s how it works.
Alice in Chains (Fuck yes!) and Rollins Band (Angry guy shouting. Not really a stunner that young Cliff was all in) had made it through the firewall, but the rest of those bands could go fuck themselves. Pearl Jam? Obnoxious. Now I would best describe them as incredibly uneven. Smashing Pumpkins? What is with dude’s voice! And he seems like a douchebag. So, so true. Stone Temple Pilots? Redundant. Seriously, their first album sounded so much like Pearl Jam that everyone thought they WERE Pearl Jam. I never really got past that, even though they dumped the clone act and actually did some interesting stuff. Sonic Youth? Since when is guitar feedback and squealing music? I still kinda feel this way. Radiohead? Oh boy, whining! Sadly, just as I figured out that they were awesome, they decided to put the guitars away and fuck everything up. Soundgarden? Ugh, this is lame! With the exception of Outshined, which was pure early 90’s metal crunch that still makes me feel fired up and wanting to punch through a wall.
This went on for awhile until some evening when my musical brother-in-arms Liam suddenly told me that he had been listening to Soundgarden, and he actually kinda…you know…liked them and stuff.
But hey, Liam hadn’t really steered me wrong when it came to music (Except perhaps Mr. Bungle. I still flat out do not understand what in the fuck that was), so maybe he had retained his sanity. Maybe it was okay. Maybe I could listen to it and my world wouldn’t come crashing down. I was wrong. So wonderfully wrong.
BOOM. Young Cliff’s brain started firing in ways that it never had before. This was kinda different. This was him trying something he had previously dismissed and realizing that he liked it. And if he could be wrong about this…
Fast forward many years. Cliff is now listening to punk, funk, Motown, hip hop, gangsta rap, blues and pop. Not all of that came from one Soundgarden song, but the willingness to expand my tastes and try listening to different things started there. That song planted the seed. That song changed the way that I thought about what was good and bad music. That song encouraged me to always be seeking out something new. And I continue to live that way today.
Take that away and I might be one of those sad middle aged dudes continuing to rock out to the sounds of their past in a desperate ploy to continue believing that the past is still right now. I’d be part of the legion of damned who funnel into venues as their creaky music idols of old continue to tour in a nostalgia festival that just demeans everyone involved. To be clear, I have no problem with old bands touring or being seen live. But we’ve all encountered those sad individuals who refuse to admit that they’ve gained fifty pounds and lost thirty years and keep on keeping on like it’s 1987. So thank you, Chris Cornell. Because nobody needs to see that. And I do somewhat enjoy maintaining a shred of personal dignity.
Okay, I’m going to just strip away the safety net and see what falls out with this one. This is one of those times where I’m going a little bit more ‘stream of consciousness’ and then coming back around and cleaning up the mess into something that makes at least a little bit of sense…hopefully. I don’t know where exactly it’s going to end up going, and it’s probably going to jump around a bit. It’s like old school Cliff blogging, only with actual editing. Hopefully it doesn’t turn into just a huge mess. And on that optimistic note, let’s begin!
I’ve talked here before about changes that I’ve made in my life. The past year in particular has been huge. I look at a lot of things differently from how I did before, deal with things differently and react to things differently. And what I’ve learned beyond anything else is that the more things change, the more I want them to continue to change. Since it’s making me happy, let’s keep it rolling forward.
But the thing with making changes and trying to find new opportunities to adapt how I’m doing things is that I need to find new sources for that change. It’s like working out. As I find new people to follow who know what the fuck they’re talking about (And for Chrissakes people, MAKE SURE they know what they’re talking about unless you want to totally screw yourself up), I’m constantly exposed to new ideas and exercises and ways to move. I’ll try things out, some of which make the cut, and some of which don’t end up being something that I personally find interesting, but all of them are at least worth a try.
So, I have this great basis for always changing and tweaking what I’m doing in terms of workout routines. But trying to find those new ideas elsewhere is still pretty new to me. I have that same ravenous appetite for more, but I don’t have my shit nearly as figured out in terms of finding the next challenge. That means seeking out new sources for ideas and changes to possibly take on, and I’m largely flying blind here.
On a somewhat related note, I’ve decided that this year is going to see me return to the world of books. I used to be a voracious reader, but I’d gotten away from it to the point that 2016 was an absolute fucking travesty. I was really disappointed by my pitiful output and wanted to get back to reading more, so I’m going to put in a real effort this year (So far, not bad. Do board game rulebooks count? If so, I’m kicking ass). And since I already had the goal to pound through some books in 2017…
Well, that’s nice. More books. With bright covers, and lengthy descriptions and…hold the phone. Are those…
Are those self help books?!
Yes they are. Oh, but that doesn’t even cover the basics of how far down this particular rabbit hole I’ve gone (…phrasing…). At the time that I’m writing this intro, the book on the right is the only one that I’ve actually read part way through (New entry to confuse the timeline! I’ve now read two of the three!). All of those chunks of paper stuffed in there are to mark pages where something really clicked for me. I fully expect all three of these to look like a similarly chaotic mess towards the end. And that’s kind of what this post is going to be all about. Those passages, and how they relate to things I’m switching up or have already altered in some way.
Believe me, I’m also a little weirded out by all of this. Even reading stuff like this represents one drastic fucking change for me. Hell, I used to mock the shit out of this sort of thing. Then again, that mockery was largely me just trying to cover up a lot of insecurities, so let’s perhaps keep walking by those utterances of the past. It helped that the first two such books I’ve read were filled with jokes and a lot of F bombs, keeping them somewhat relatable.
Buckle up, folks. This is going to be an interesting ride through the land of honesty. It’s like the Land of Dairy Queen, just with reality in place of chocolate rivers. So…okay, yeah, it kind of sucks.
So, how to follow up a massive post about 7 billion different bands that I’m into? Well, I could have just done up a clone post covering what new shit I’m already listening to in 2017. No, seriously. That’s probably coming way sooner than later. It seems that this year is picking up where the last one ended. And not just in the literal sense that one year leads directly into another. But let’s leave that for now and go a different direction. And maybe I’ll actually write something relatively short and bite sized. What? Stop laughing! It could totally happen!
Think about this : How many times a day do you find yourself engaging in the following conversation at work, on the phone, online, in an opium den, or wherever the Hell else you choose to spend your days?
OTHER PERSON : “Hey, how you doing?”
YOU : “I’m good.” Or some related version of that. Good. All good. Not bad. Decent. Hey, is that blue dragon over there giving me the eye? That last one is probably only relevant for those currently visiting an opium den.
It’s just a pointless little toss out comment. You generally don’t really mean it. Shit, nobody even gives it a second thought, it’s just what you hurl out there because it’s the expected answer to keep the pointless conversation rolling forward. You play your little part of a well oiled machine that cranks out banal nonsense like this on a daily basis, then you return to slaving away for the man, or talking business online, or lazing back on a cushion in a purple room, surrounded by cool people all getting right fucked up. My only experience with opium dens comes from cartoons, so I am probably completely out to fucking lunch on what one might have found in one.
And I’m not any different from the rest of you. I engage in the same pointless bullshit. I respond in the same way. I keep the cogs greased and the business of small talk flowing. That sounded weirdly sexual. It was not intended as such. For once.
The difference these days is that now I actually mean it. I’ve spent years just blindly spewing out the phrase to the point that it had become absolutely meaningless. Even when I was miserable I still said it because it’s just what you do. And then a short while ago, I was out driving on a nice, sunny winter’s day. Volbeat was playing. If you are in my car this summer, prepare for the Volbeat onslaught. Seriously, it’s perfect warm weather driving music. I had a smile on my face. And it occurred to me at that moment that I really am good.
Is everything perfect? Of course not. What I finally figured out is that that doesn’t matter. There are still things that I’m trying to get done, but I’ve reached a point of contentment with where I am now. I’ve finally started figuring out how to keep my brain from continuing to spin away in overdrive, so I’m a Hell of a lot calmer internally than I have been in longer than I can remember. Turns out sleep actually IS a good thing. Who knew? I mean, aside from sensible people. I’ve actually made a lot of progress in terms of figuring out how to function like something resembling a human being. Hey, it only took 40 years!
And while it would be easy to lament the fact that it took me so long to get here, I won’t do that. The important part is that I finally got here. No more time spent smashing myself over mistakes made. Now I take a moment to think about what I would say to someone else who made that error, and I go with that instead. Seriously, we routinely abuse ourselves in situations where we would show empathy to anyone else in the same space. It’s fucked up. No more passing up on things that I want to do. If I’m going solo, so be it. I’m still going. Hence this rapidly becoming the year of Cliff goes to a lot of concerts. And no more becoming frustrated when I can’t make masses of progress overnight. Okay, so it still happens from time to time. Let’s just aim for a lot less and be happy with it. Maybe it’s time to sit back and actually enjoy the whole improvement part of things instead of just racing to the end.
I’m good. And I should end this before it becomes a motivational poster.
Sweet holy mother of fuck. People actually put things like that on walls? Really? Ugh. There’s another one for the quick list. I’m not a person who would EVER hang that image anywhere. I’m just the guy who will subject you all to it here. So we can suffer together.
It’s said that as we age, we stop looking for new sounds to infiltrate the ear canal and just bathe in the nostalgic warmth of what we already enjoy. Apparently I missed the bus that goes to that particular neighborhood in Blandsville…
In years past, I’ve spent a bit of time in January looking back at books that I read over the previous year. However, my book consumption rate last year was goddamn pathetic, so that’s out for 2017. Luckily, I stepped it up big in terms of what I’m listening to.
Now, this has nothing to do with bands I was already into who released new stuff this year. So I won’t be mentioning names like Metallica, Sixx A.M., Adele, David Bowie, A Tribe Called Quest (though I thought long and hard about including them, since it’s their first new material in forever and a day) or Iggy Pop. Okay, I won’t be mentioning them from this point forward. All released really good stuff. But this is about new shit. At least, stuff that’s new to me. Some of them have been around for awhile. Hey, I’m old! It takes me awhile to find things! Be glad that I manage to find pants!
And there was A LOT of new shit in 2016. Thanks to my XM account, I typically ‘find’ about 20-25 new bands a year. This year was like that, only on a lot of steroids. XM led to a lot of them, but so did people. All kinds of people. People who I follow online, friends, acquaintances, whoever. If you have ever mentioned a musical act within earshot of me, and particularly if you’ve previously led me to something cool, there’s a good chance that I’ve listened to them. All it takes is the quickest of throwaway mentions. My ears are whores.
So consider this my attempt both to bring some eyes to my little corner of the Internet, and to also thank many of you for bringing me to some new music by trying to return the favor. There will likely be a few surprises. There is at least one MASSIVE change in opinion. Try not to be one of those sad little fuckers who skims and just looks at band names…read it, you lazy fuck! Enjoy, mock, laugh at me, I don’t give a shit. Oh, and prepare yourselves for power chords. I am a sucker for power chords.
I’ll link to a video for each group in the band name.
Oh, and I also promise that there will be zero ‘joke’ links to Rick Astley. This is a post about good music, and therefore Rick Astley has no place here.
As the new year dawns, it’s time to be a complete and total cliché and take a look back at my own personal 2016. Forget what happened to the world and anything of the like. It’s all about me! Though a lot less arrogant than that sounded. I may be a lot of things, but that level of self obsessed isn’t one of them. Hey, I’m a bit surprised, too!
This isn’t going to be a countdown of specific changes that I’ve made in the past year. I already updated that set of goals a short time ago here. Of course, it didn’t get read much. I like to think it was because I made the ‘brilliant’ choice of posting it before work, meaning all of you folks who might have read it were busy at jobs and stuff. I like to think that. It keeps me from being a sad heap of old tears slowly drying into obscurity. Look, please just go read it now and save us all the awkwardness of me sobbing uncontrollably again. Nobody wants that. No, this is going to be something a bit bigger and a lot less specific. That’s my way of saying that I’m pretty much making this up as I’m typing, and not even I can look into the future, even one of my own creation. Don’t worry, I’m not going to forego editing. This is just going to be a bit of a zig-zagging rollercoaster ride when it comes to subject. Riffing off the cuff is fun and terrifying all at once.
I could very easily fall into the trap of looking at 2016 as entirely bad. There’s been immense upheaval and pain in my family. Too many people close around me don’t know what’s coming next anymore. I’ve spent a lot of time this year angrily screaming out into the void in the hopes that my voice would somehow quell the maelstrom. I’m always one of those people who wants to do something. And when I can’t do something to fix whatever’s gone wrong, I flail and lash about. I can’t heal the wounds of everyone around me. I can’t change my life, or that of anyone around me, simply by wishing it to be so. All that I can do is keep striding forward. I’ll always do everything that I can for anyone around me, but I’m not a superman capable of bearing the problems of the world. And trying to take everything at once just leads to my feeling crushed underneath the mass of it all. Going it alone doesn’t work. It never did. But I’ll still bellow into the night when the need is there, because sometimes a primal scream is what you need to clear your head and chase the demons off for another night.
